Help
by Igraine
Summary: finished, Takes place imeadiately after wrecked. Faith dies and another slayer comes to sunnydale B/S. R/R please:)
1. In the night

Disclaimer:none of these character belong to me  
  
Summery: takes place after wrecked, Buffy is still having trouble living, can Spike help her before it's to late?  
  
rated pg-13  
  
Help  
  
chapter 1:In the night  
  
Buffy fiddled with the small cross in her hand. She was torn between wanting to laugh at herself for thinking she could keep out Spike with a bunch of garlic, and wanting to cry. "Why damn it, why do I have to feal like this" she asked herself. She couldn't do this. Not another vampire. Not another impossible relationship.  
  
She threw the cross across the room in frustration. She was rewarded with a satisfying crashing sound as the cross it her dresser, knocking off some of her possessions. She fell back in bed and looked at the ceiling.  
  
Don't go to sleep, don't go to sleep She begged to herself. If she slept she'd have another dream about him. Him and his whole masculine male self. Why was he the only one she could stand to be around these days? him and Dawn. She loved Willow and everyone, but she could only take so much of it.  
  
It was them that tore her out. Removed her from her peace. How could she face them everyday. She tried, tried so hard to let it go, but she couldn't.  
  
'Every slayer has a death wish' Spike had said to her once. well she had a big heaven load of death wishes. A wish for that peace.  
  
She got out of bed and stood by the window. She opened it up, breathing in the fresh night air. She looked at her clock, it was tree in the morning. Only four more hours to go.  
  
She looked down outside. There was a shadow. It was him a shadow in the night. He noticed that she noticed him and looked up at her, and gave her his famous cocky grin. Yay she thought sarcastically to herself. Now she had to deal with him. She really didn't want to.  
  
That's a lie an annoying voice at the back of her head said. It was right. A part of her had been hoping, praying that he would show up. That he would laugh at her garlic, make some sexual innuendo and touch her.  
  
It didn't matter how he touched her. It could be a hand on her arm, a brushing of his fingers across her cheek. Or maybe a hand on her back, maybe both hands on her waist. Or maybe he could just take her head in his hands and passionately kiss her.  
  
No! Bad Buffy bad! she scolded herself. Her body screamed for his touch, but she couldn't give in. She had to stay strong, fight her addiction. That's all it was, a weird twisted addiction. It couldn't possibly me more then that. Could it?  
  
She shook the thought away "Go away" she shouted at him.  
  
He answered her by walking inside the house. She ran down stairs to meet him "I said leave" she told him.  
  
"Oh come now luv, don't get your nikkers in a twist, I'm here to check on the bit" he said. He walked past her and went upstairs to Dawns room.  
  
"She's sleeping, you can come back tomorrow" she told him.  
  
He didn't listen. He just walked right into Dawns room and sat at the edge of her bed. He put a gentle hand on her shoulder, being careful not to jar her fractured arm. "Hey niblet, it's me" he said softly.  
  
Dawn opened her eyes a little and looked up at him. "Spike?" she asked a little confused, and a little dazed from the pain medication. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Glad to see your so happy to see me" he said, "I'm just here to check on you, how ya fealin'?" he asked.  
  
"I'm fine" she said, and fell back to sleep.  
  
Spike smiled down at her then stood up. He walked to where Buffy was standing and ushered her out of the room. when they were in the hall way he whispered to her "So, what the situation with red?"  
  
Buffy looked at him, then the arm he had on her shoulder then back at him. "She's sleeping. I think she's on some sort of magic withdrawal, she seems really devoted to giving it up though" she said.  
  
"I hope so" Spike said, "Wouldn't want another incident like last night, now would we?" He started to gently stroke her shoulder with the thumb of the had that was on her.  
  
Buffy nodded in agreement, and began to lean slightly towards him "Okay, well I better get going now" Spike said and walked down the stairs and out the door.  
  
Buffy frowned as she watched him leave. How does he do that? she asked herself. She ran down stairs and out the door, needing to have contact with him. Guess willows stronger then me she thought with little regret. She went outside, and he was there, waiting for her, smoking a cigarette with that damn arrogant look on his face.  
  
"New you couldn't stay awa-" Spike started, but was interrupted by a foot hitting his face. And it wasn't Buffys foot either. They both looked at the girl who had kicked him.  
  
She had long red hair that was up in a pony tail behind her. Her eyes were green, a bright green, like Buffys eyes. her small mouth was formed into a small smile. She looked young, couldn't be older then Dawn. She was wearing a red velvet shirt that buttoned up the front. She had on a long loose fitting blue skirt, that looked like it would fall off her petite waist. The girl was beautiful. Her skin was pale and shined in the moon light.  
  
She opened her mouth to speak "Sorry" she said, "But he was kind of bothering me. You must be Buffy, Well, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Ezra" She held out her hand for Buffy to shake.  
  
"Well, It's uh, very nice to meet you, um... Ezra, and may I say, good job with the kicking of Spike, and well I don't want to be rude, but who are you, how you know who I am?" she asked, shaking Ezras hand.  
  
"Wait, I know this" Spike said. "She's a vampire slayer, she's replacing you, because you died, right" Spike smiled and leaned back against the tree.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes at him. "No Spike that's impossible, Kendra, you know Kendra, remember the girl your girlfriend killed? well any ways, Kendra was my replacement from the first time I died. each slayer only gets ONE replacement. Kendra Died, and Faith replaced her. If Ezra is a slayer as she says, It means that Faith died." Buffy said. Spike looked confused.  
  
"OOooo" Ezra said scrunching up her nose, "Your a smart one" she pointed at Spike, " But He is not" she said.  
  
Buffy looked at the young girl. Her humor, her facial expressions, her attitude. They al reminded her of Faith. "Oh yeah" Buffy said, "Your definitely Faiths replacement" he looked down at the ground, feeling sad. That means that faith dead she realized. She grieved for a moment. Faith was, well crazy, but still. She had had such a hard life.  
  
"So, faith is dead then?" she asked, a little afraid of the answer she knew was coming.  
  
"Yeah, I think she took some type of overdoes at the mental house or something." Ezra said, "They don't really give you the details, just okay, now your the slayer."  
  
Buffy nodded, it made sense, a slayer cant be contained, to much energy, too much primal instinct. "well, why don't we go inside" Buffy suggested. The three of them walked inside. "so where are you staying while your in town?" Buffy asked when they were in the living room.  
  
"Well actually, that's why I'm here. You see, the watchers council is slacking off or something, because, I have no watcher. They told me to come to sunny dale and work under your direction until a watcher is assigned to me." she explained.  
  
Great, just great, Buffy thought, send the young fifteen year old slayer to the old unwanted slayer who was raised from the dead, who by the way already has a fifteen year old to take care of. "Well, I'm afraid we kind of have a full house, you can bunk with Dawn I guess" she said. "Or you can always stay at the crypt with Spike." she said jokingly.  
  
Ezra looked Spike up and down, "Tempting, but I think I'll stay here" she said. "Just point me in the direction, I'm tired, and I'd like to sleep, we can get to know each other in the morning right?" she said.  
  
Buffy looked at her, a little suprised at how at ease she was with all of this. "Um, I guess I'll set up a bed for you, Let's just hope Dawn doesn't freak when she wakes up and finds a stranger in her room. She had a little accident yesterday, and she broke her arm, so, she might be a little dazed from pain medication. ya know?" Buffy said.  
  
"What ever" Ezra said, "Just roll out a map and Ill sleep."  
  
"Okay" Buffy said. She set up a bed in Dawns room, and woke Dawn up, trying to explain what happened, she just nodded and went back to sleep. Ezra laid Down and fell asleep immediately.  
  
Buffy checked on Willow and then went to her room, where Spike was waiting for her. He was lying on her bed, his legs crossed, his arms propping up his head. "Been waiting for ya luv" He said.  
  
"Your a pig Spike" she said, "Now leave" Her heart wasn't in the words though and he could tell. She lied down next to him on her bed.  
  
Spike smiled at her and opened his mouth to say something, but Buffy cut him off "Just don't say anything, and you can stay until I fall asleep" she said. He nodded. She sat up and pulled her sweatshirt off, revealing a green tank top, then lied back down, and rested her head on his chest. "But when I'm asleep you need to go" she said through a yawn.  
  
He wrapped his arms around her, and she was asleep within five minutes. Spike stayed there for a few minutes, but then got up. He tucked her in under the blankets, and took a minute to look at her and worship her. Her ran his hand along the smooth skin of her shoulder, then down the length of her arm.  
  
He looked at her arm. Her skin was golden, she was scratched from there night of passion. He ran his hand along her arm again then turned it slightly to do the same on her inner arm. And that's when he noticed. The scratches on her am couldn't of come from the other night. They were to precise. Little x's in a line from elbow to wrist. Some were almost healed, but some looked like they had just closed up.  
  
He looked at her other arm and found the same pattern. He put his hand on her cheek, "What have you done to yourself pet?" he asked her sleeping form. He kissed her cheek and left, as she gad told him to. Tomorrow luv, tomorrow we'll have a talk he promised her in his head.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"BUFFY!!!!" Buffy was awoken by her sister screaming for her. She looked at her clock. It was 7:30am. Probably the most sleep she had gotten since she came back. "BUFFY!!" her sister called again.  
  
Buffy groaned and got out of bed, "What is it Dawn" she called to her sister as she walked downstairs. She went into the kitchen to see a very upset Dawn looking at a very annoyed red head. "Oh" Buffy said. "Dawn this is Ezra, Ezra this is Dawn" she filled Dawn in on what had happened the previous night (leaving out her falling asleep in Spikes arms) and then went upstairs to shower.  
  
She turned the hot water on all the way, not bothering with the cold water. It would feal cold to her any ways. Steam poured from the shower, and floated through the bathroom, misting over the mirrors.  
  
She pulled off her clothing and stepped into the shower, feeling the water pour over her. It left bright pink marks on her skin as it fell. She tried to focus on the burning of her skin, but finally gave up and turned on the cold water, relieving her skin.  
  
She looked at the marks on her arm. She took the blade out of her razor and reopened the oldest cut. Just enough to bleed lightly. Nothing. No pain. She ran the blade deeper into her arm, blood ran heavy from it this time, she still could barely feal it.  
  
'You came back wrong' Spike voice taunted her in her head. She held her arm under the water and watched as the blood ran thick with the water, until it cleared and became just water again. She ran soap over her body and washed her hair, then stepped out of the shower.  
  
She slipped on her bathrobe and went to her room. She herd Dawn laughing with Ezra down stairs, and Willow whimpering in her room. She opened her closet and picked out a long sleeve blue shirt, and pulled it over her head. She picked out a black skirt, and finished dressing. She ran a comb quickly through her hair, then pulled it back into a sloppy bun. She looked at herself in the mirror.  
  
She felt as though she were looking at someone else. She had dark circles under her eyes. Her face looked hollow, and she had lost some weight, that she couldn't really afford to loose. She looked like an empty, like a hollow shell. That cant be me she thought to herself. She put on some make up, trying to add some life to her face, and went down stairs.  
  
When she got down stairs she found Dawn and Ezra giggling over a piece of paper. "Hey Buffy, your boyfriend left you a note" Ezra said.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes at her, "Spike, is NOT my boyfriend!" she said.  
  
"That's not what it sounds like from this note" Ezra said, "Buffy" she began to read the note, "I need to talk to you about last night, come see me when you wake up. Love you always Spike" she finished.  
  
Buffy was fuming with anger, "That's just Spike, he's like obsessed with me" she tried to explain. "Tell her Dawn" she looked at Dawn for support.  
  
"Oh yeah, that's just Spike" she said, nodding sarcastically. "So, um, Buffy, what happened last night?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Nothing, He was here to check on you when Ezra showed up, he probably just wants to talk about Ezra" she said. "Why don't you to go get dressed and we can stop by his crypt on the way to the magic shop." Buffy suggested.  
  
"Why are we going to the magic shop?" Dawn asked  
  
"Because, I'm like Ezras watcher or something, I need to train her....I think" Buffy said, "Now go upstairs, Ezra, your about the same size as me, let me see if I can find something for you to wear, come on. Dawn, five minutes" she said sternly. Dawn was known to take forever to dress if she was planing on seeing Spike.  
  
They all went upstairs. Buffy picked out a pair of work out clothes for herself and then one for Ezra. She then took a long look at Ezra, then picked out a knee length gray skirt, and a green tank top and tossed them at her. "Try those" she said, "You can rummage through my shoes and see if any of them fit you.  
  
She went down stairs and sat on the couch, rubbing her temples. She had been getting head aches lately, but she didn't mind much. At least when her head was aching she was feeling something.  
  
"Are you okay Buffy" Dawn said putting a concerned hand on Her shoulder.  
  
"Yeah I'm fine, you guys ready? lets go" Buffy said shrugging off Dawns concern. She stood up and looked at Ezra. Damn it she looks better in that then me she thought to herself, "You can just keep that" Buffy said to Ezra, "We'll go shopping and get you some new clothes latter, unless you have things, like on the way or something" she said.  
  
Ezra shook her head. "Nope, all alone in the world, no parents, no watcher, no clothes. However, the watchers council gave me money."  
  
"How thoughtful of them" Buffy said sarcastically. With that they started out the door and walked to Spikes crypt.  
  
When she got there she had Ezra and Dawn wait outside. If he was sleeping naked, she didn't really think he'd want to have 2 giggling fifteen year old girls around. He wasn't upstairs so she figured he was sleeping. She went downstairs to what he used as a house area. He was sleeping.  
  
Great, now I get to wake him up again Buffy though annoyed to herself. "Spike" she said. no response. "SPIKE!" she shouted. Still no response.  
  
She walked over and reached out a hand to wake him up, but thought better of it and looked around for something to throw at him. She saw one of his boots lying on the ground so she picked it up and tossed it at him.  
  
"Ow, bloody, sodding hell! Those are steal toed, that hurt" Spike said as he woke up. He sat up and turned to his legs were over the side of his bed. This Time he was not sleeping naked, he was wearing plaid pajama bottoms.  
  
Buffy had to contain her laughter. Of all the things she thought of Spike wearing, plaid pajama bottoms were not on the list, "So, what do you want to talk about, Ezra, I'm assuming?" She asked him.  
  
Spike stood up and shook his head, "No, that's not it" he said. He took a step towards her. She took a step back. "It has nothing to do with any of our little incidents lately either" he said.  
  
This confused her. What could he possibly wanting to talk about. Maybe Willow. "What do you want to talk about?" she asked him.  
  
He took a step towards her again. This time she didn't step back. He walked over to where she was standing and grabbed her hand. She tried to pull away but he wouldn't let her. He used his other had to push up the sleeve of her shirt and turned her arm so her palm was facing the ceiling, exposing the marks on her arm. "This is what I wanted to talk about" he said.  
  
he rand his finger down the length of her arm, "Buffy, did you do this?" he asked her. She only looked at him. She didn't know what to say. How could she explain to him, that she was just trying to feal? "Buffy your hurting yourself, I'm worried about you" Spike said.  
  
She pulled her arm away, he let her this time. "It's not your place to worry" Buffy said. "What I do is my business, and nobody else's" she said. She started to turned and walked to the ladder leading to the top part of his crypt.  
  
He stopped her by grabbing her waist and pulling her to him. She leaned her head back against his chest for a moment. "Buffy, I love you and I'm worried about you. This isn't healthy behavior" he said.  
  
"Let me go" she said. He didn't. She struggled a little bit but he still didn't let her go. "Let me go!" she shouted, trying to put force into the words.  
  
He turned her around and grabbed her shoulders. He grip was firm. It almost hurt. He leaned in until there noses touched, "Buffy, why cant you let me help you?" he said. And then he kissed her.  
  
For a second she wanted to. She wanted to let him in, and stay there in his arms. No! she told herself sternly, and pulled away from him. "Because your evil" she said. "You may prance around in sheep's clothing, but your Evil, you don't even have a soul, I cant except help from you. Your Dead" she said. her words were harsh and she knew it, But she couldn't continue on like this. That night they shared was a mistake. The biggest mistake of her life.  
  
She turned and left. Spike let her. he clenched the mussels in his throat and sat on his bed. Her words hurt. Allot. But she didn't mean it. She may of thought she did but she didn't. And he couldn't just let her continue to hurt herself. "Great job of not being her whipping boy Spike" he said to himself.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~end chapter one 


	2. Buffys secrets

chapter 2: Buffys secrets  
  
Buffy watched as Ezra hit and kicked the Punching bag. She was strong, but her methods were reckless. Wild. Just like faith had been Buffy thought to herself. The more Buffy got to know Ezra the more she resembled Faith. Her expressions, her movements, her attitude.  
  
She had even called her B once. Buffy asked her not to, saying that she hated that designation. Ezra just called her Buff now. It made Buffy cringe, but it was better then B.  
  
It had been three days since Ezra had come. And three days since Buffy had seen Spike. The sun had set an hour ago on sunny dale. The magic shop was quiet. The air set heavy, as if stale. It made Buffy sick to her stomach.  
  
Ezra continued to beat away at the punching bag. Dawn sat in the front of the shop with Xander and Willow. Dawn was angry with Willow still. Her arm hurt and she was tired. But she knew that Willow was really sorry, and she saw that Willow was serious about giving it up.  
  
Willow was sad. The power had filled her. It ran through her veins with her blood. She felt empty, hollow with out it. But the pain of the magic, the destruction it had caused, it hadn't been worth it.  
  
Ezra continued to hit the punching bag. Randomly throwing kicks and punches. Xander watched Willow with concern. She was reading a book on the addiction of magic. to bad that hadn't been around before Xander thought to himself.  
  
He looked over at Dawn. She was doing her homework. Every now and then she looked up at Willow, her expression emotionless. Xander wondered if Dawn would ever forgive Willow. He thought she would, but he knew it would take time.  
  
Ezra was still beating the punching bag. "Oh look" a cocky male British voice said, "it's a bitty slayer" the voice said again.  
  
Buffy looked up at the voice of Spike. He had come in through the back, and was standing in the shadows. "Oh look" Ezra said as she stopped hitting the punching bag, "It's a neutered vampire" she finished. Spike glared at her, and she returned the glare with equal strength. "Well, I'd love to stay and chat with one such as your self, but I think I'm ready for a water break" Ezra said. She picked up her water and went into the front of the shop.  
  
"What do you want?" Buffy said as she stood up and began hitting the punching bag. She figured that if she just kept hitting the bag, then Spikes words couldn't reach her.  
  
He came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders, running the down her arms, stilling her movements. He put his lips near her ear and whispered, "I'm just here to see how everyone is doing."  
  
Buffy leaned back into him and moved her head so her lips were inches away from his. "That's very kind of you, but we're all fine, so you can go" she said, and elbowed him in his ribcage. He stumbled backwards.  
  
"Ya know what?" Spike said, "I'm tired of this. I'm always following you around, making sure your okay, but does anyone ever ask if I'm okay? No" Buffy rolled her eyes at him. "I wasn't joking Summers, I'm tired of being your whipping boy, and I may be concerned about the way your treating your body, but that doesn't mean I'm just taking back everything I said" he said.  
  
"Then leave. You keep on saying your done playing this game, but you keep coming back for another round" she said moving towards him.  
  
He moved towards her meeting each other half way, "Well, when the woman I love is cutting herself I get a little concerned" he said.  
  
Buffy cringed at his words. They were standing close now, too close. There faces were inches away. "You said that already" she said. Back away Buffy" she told herself back away before it's too late. She threw her arms around his neck and started kissing him. He responded by putting his arms around her waist, and pushing her against the wall.  
  
Xander looked at the Small red head, who was chatting away with Dawn. She was so young. How could she be so young, yet still have the weight of the world on her shoulders. Buffy had been that young He remembered. Had she really been that young. Had she ever been as innocent as this young girl who stood before them giggling with Dawn. It seemed so long ago.  
  
Xander went to the back of the magic shop to talk to Buffy. "Buf-" he started to say Buffys name, but stopped as her saw them. Spike was kissing Buffy and she was kissing him back. Neither of them seemed to notice his presence, so he quickly turned around and left.  
  
"eww eww eww eww eww' he said over and over to himself as he walked back to the front of the magic shop. "Somebody pleeeaaassee tell me that the Buffy bot was fixed" he said.  
  
Willow, Anya, Dawn, and Ezra all looked up at him. "Not that I know of" Willow said confused, "Why?" she asked. They all looked at him waiting for an explanation.  
  
"Okay" Xander started, "Brace yourselves for this, it's a big one"  
  
Spike pulled away from Buffy, "I knew you couldn't stay a way, you crave me like I crave blood" he said, then started kissing her again.  
  
Buffy turned her head away, and moved out of his grasp. "Oh my god" she said disgusted with him. "Let us get one thing strait. I do NOT crave you. I never have and I never will".  
  
"Oh yeah" he said, "Well what was that all about?" he crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her waiting for an answer.  
  
"Temporary insanity" she replied, "Now go before someone comes in ands sees us together" she said.  
  
Spike walked up and put his hand behind her neck and pulled her to him. She looked away. "You'll see Buffy, you'll see" he said, and left.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So, you and the slayer" Spike looked up at the voice, "William the bloody, and Buffy summers" Spike looked for the person the voice was coming from. Ezra walked out of the shadows. "It's so strange, a vampire loving a slayer" she taunted him.  
  
"What do you want, and what are you blabbing on about, me and Buffy are just friends" he said.  
  
"Ha!" Ezra said. "everyone knows, you guys might not want to make out in the practice room when everyone is at the magic shop" she said. "By the way, I expect Xander will be trying to kill you soon" she smirked.  
  
Spike was stunned, but quickly recovered, "What is your problem?, I never did anything to you" he said.  
  
"your a vampire" she said distracted, she blinked, and wavered on her feet a little as if dizzy, "I'm a... slayer... what more reason....." she moaned in pain and put her arm around her stomach. "Voices" she said. she bent slightly over and clutched her head, "they talk.  
  
"What's wrong with you" Spike asked. She didn't reply. He walked over to her and put his ands on her shoulders. He leaned down and back looking at her face. She had a crazed look on her face. A look Spike knew well. Drucila used to get the same look when she would get a vision. "Ezra, pet, what is it" he said. Drucila may of been insane, but her visions almost were always accurate.  
  
She shook her head and stepped out of his grasp "I'm not your pet" she said. She looked up at him, the look was off her face and she looked like a normal girl again. "I just had a little head ache" she said. "I have to go" she turned and ran away from him.  
  
Spike went back to his crypt and went down stairs, and grabbed his flask and took a big long drink.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The room went silent as Buffy entered, a bottle of water in hand. They all had grim expressions on their faces. Willow coughed and looked away. Dawn looked up at her and smiled, "Ezra just left for home, I think I'll go see if I can catch up with her" Dawn said, and left before Buffy could respond.  
  
Buffy smiled at them, "So, what's up guys?" she asked.  
  
"Buffy" Xander said, "Are you, ya know, feeling okay. Do you have a fever, are you maybe a little delirious" he walked over to her and put his hand on her forehead.  
  
"Xander" Buffy said and pulled away from his hand laughing slightly at him, "I feal fine, though you might want to get checked out".  
  
"Well" Willow said "Did you maybe like hit your head, like really hard"  
  
"No, by the way, you guys didn't happen to like take a bunch of crazy pills did you?" Buffy asked smiling.  
  
"No" Xander said, But I think you may have. I saw you in the practice room with Spike" he told her, with a serious look on his face.  
  
"Oh that" Buffy said "Well that wasn't what it looked like" she explained.  
  
"Oh? good because it looked allot like you were kissing Spike" Xander said.  
  
"You know what?" Buffy said, "I did hit my head. Ow ow ow, you know I think I'm gonna go home and lie down. My judgment is obviously being effected" she said trying to cover up.  
  
They didn't buy it, "Buffy" Willow said gently, I know your having a hard time and all bu-"  
  
"No" Buffy cut her off, "You don't know. You all think you do but you don't. Now just everyone leave me alone. This is my life and I will live it however I want" she ran out of the magic shop.  
  
"Well" Willow said sarcastically, "That went well".  
  
"Did you guys ever think that maybe we should just leave her alone?" Anya said. "I mean, she's 21, she can live her own life. I'm not saying I approve of the whole Buffy Spike thing, but, I mean, she's having a hard enough time as it is. He apparently can comfort her, we can't" she reasoned.  
  
"No" Xander said sternly, "Buffy does not need Spike, she needs us. Her friends." he looked at Anya. She shook her head and went back to reading her bridal magazine.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy ran, letting the night air seep into her pours and comfort her. Her feet pounded the ground, one after the other. This could not be happening. They couldn't know. Damn Spike  
  
She thought to herself.  
  
Her hair flew out behind her back. Her feet were aching from running in her heals. But she kept running. She didn't know where she was, or where she was going. She only knew that she wasn't going home. She couldn't.  
  
The night surrounded her, taking her in it's embrace. She looked up at the stars that blurred around her as she ran. She felt the darkness welcoming her like a warm blanket. Rain began to pour from the clouds above her. She opened her mouth welcoming the water.  
  
She continued to run. Her hair no loner flew out behind her back, but was now wet, and stuck to her skin. She was beginning to feal cold. She had on her sweat pants and a small white tank top. Her clothes were soaked through and through. Her foot slid on the mud, and she fell face down. She sat up, covered in mud, and looked around her. She was at the grave yard.  
  
She laid back down on the ground. She sank into the bed of mud and closed her eyes.  
  
"Well well well" an all to familiar voice said. "What is the slayer doing rolled in mud right in front of my crypt at this late hour?" he asked.  
  
Buffy moaned and rolled up into a fetal position in the mud. "Go away and leave me alone Spike" she told him.  
  
Spike crouched down and put a hand on her shoulder, she was ice cold, "Common pet, time to get you inside" he said. She shook her head. "Now now luv" he said as he picked her up, "I don't think your friends would care to much for a wet mud covered Buffy" he said. He carried her into his crypt.  
  
Buffy rested her head against Spike chest and listened to the steady rise and fall of his chest. It was so strange. A vampire that breathes, But Spike was quite unusual. He ate regular food, he smoker, her drank stuff that wasn't blood. He wrote poetry, and he fell in love. Such weird behavior for a vampire Buffy thought to herself. She blinked her eyes a few times and fell into the welcoming world of sleep.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy spun around in circles, her long skirt flying around her body. Her hair whipped across her face, daisies braided through it. She started to feal dizzy you she let herself fall onto the soft green grass that padded the ground.  
  
But she didn't hit the grass, she hit a ground covered in mud, and shot back to her senses. Buffy sat up and opened her eyes, taking in her surroundings. She was in a bed. It was dark, and dank where she was. She looked down at what she was wearing. A black T-shirt. A black T-shirt that looked strangely familiar.  
  
She looked next to her and there he was, sleeping. She stuck out her hand and flicked his forehead with her finger. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut for a moment then looked up at her. "Why am I here?" she asked annoyed.  
  
"Gee Spike, thank you for taking care of me" he said in a high voice, "Oh no need to thank me, that's just the kind of guy I am" he said in a normal voice. "But surely Spike" he said up in the higher voice again, "There must be some way I can thank you, something I could do maybe some-"  
  
Buffy cut him off, "Let's see, I wake up in the middle of the night, in nothing but one of your dirty shirts on and you want me to thank you? I'd rather take my chances in the mud" she said.  
  
"Do you always wake up in bad moods?" he asked her.  
  
"Only when I wake up next to you Spike" she said. "It's all for you".  
  
"I feal so lucky. Listen pet, It's cold out there, and I didn't think you would fancy waking up in the mud, or in your bed, with your friends, since our little nasty secret is out now" he said.  
  
Buffy made a disgusted look. "Where are my clothes?" she asked him annoyed.  
  
"Over there, are you leaving?" he asked.  
  
She looked at him, opening her mouth to tell him how yes, she would be leaving, and insult him in the process, but the look on his face stopped her. That and the thought of going home to questions she couldn't answer didn't exactly appeal to her at the moment. He looked at her, his blue eyes sparkling, is pink lips parted slightly. His bleached blond hair ruffled slightly with sleep. She reached out and smoothed back his hair, "No, I'll stay. But don't read to much into it. I just don't want to face Willow and Xander yet." she told him.  
  
She laid back down in the bed. "I don't suppose you have a clock of some sort anywhere" she asked.  
  
"No, sorry, but it's still hours before dawn" he told her.  
  
Dawn she shouldn't be staying, Dawn might worry. "I really shouldn't be leaving Dawn home" she said to Spike.  
  
"I'm sure the whole scooby gang is at your house right now. Besides, Ezra's there, she can take care of things for one night." he said.  
  
Buffy nodded. Spike was right. Dawn could handle herself for one night. She closed her eyes. She had one hell of a head ache. "Have any form of aspirin?" she asked him hopefully.  
  
"When you drink like I do, you have to have something to get rid of hang overs" he said smiling at her.  
  
She smiled back. He reached over to the night stand and opened the drawer, grabbed a bottle of excedrin and tossed it to her. He passed her a bottle of water that had been on his night stand.  
  
"Thanks" she said and took two of the small white pills. She laid back down, letting her head sink into the pillows. She looked up at the 'ceiling'. She closed her eyes, trying to block everything out. The air was filed with the scent of Spike. She breathed deeply in.  
  
Spike put a hand on her stomach, being ready to pull away if she wanted him to, but she let him. She welcomed him. He laid his head in the space where her neck met her shoulders, and they both just laid there, and went back to sleep.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy laid on the soft green field, in a peaceful state of calm. Ezra approached her, wearing a long blue dress. The red waves of her hair was braided behind her back. She carried an object that kept on changing shape. At one moment it was a wolf, then a puppy. Then it would be a bear, then it would change into a red rose, which would turn black, then change into a kitten.  
  
"How long are you going to hide?" Ezra asked her.  
  
"Until their gone" Buffy answered her. She tried to ignore Ezra, hoping she would go away.  
  
She didn't. Her hair fell out of the braid and shortened turning brown. She grew a couple inches taller, and her face changed. Buffy looked at Faith now. "They'll never leave B, you have to face them.  
  
"I'm not ready yet" she said, "It's nice here, I want to stay here, with you. I never see you anymore, I worry".  
  
"Yeah well I'm a busy girl, but you don't need to worry anymore, I've got a nice little set up here. I'm five by five" faith said. She sat down next to Buffy. "You should go though, Dawn comes early, and wont understand night" she said.  
  
"Your probably right" Buffy said, but it's so nice here there no demons to fight, and no one questions me. except for you of course"  
  
Faith laughed. "Well, I'm not gonna make you leave" she said.  
  
Buffy sat up in bed, waking up Spike in the process. "I have to go, she wont understand" Buffy said.  
  
"What? who wont understand" Spike asked, trying to shake of sleep.  
  
As If to answer that they herd Dawn calling for Buffy upstairs. "Oh no" Buffy said. "Where are my clothes, she can't see us like this"  
  
"Buffy" Dawn called again.  
  
"But we were just sleeping" Spike said.  
  
"Well it wont look like that to Dawn" she said.  
  
Dawn climbed down the ladder that led to the bottom part of Spikes crypt. Buffy hadn't come home last night and she was worried. "Spike Buffys missing" she said and turned around.  
  
She stared at the sight before her. Buffy was in bed with Spike wearing one of his T-shirts. She was sitting up and Spike was laying down. "Dawn" Buffy said, "This isn't what it looks like, we were just sleeping" Buffy explained.  
  
"Right" Dawn said. "Just sleeping, how stupid do you think I am. Were you with him the last weak too. You know, I worry about you when you don't call, so next time your just out boinking your boy friend, give me a call so I know your safe" Dawn screamed at her.  
  
"Dawnie, we were only sleeping I swear. I didn't want to have to explain my actions to Xander and willow so I hid" she said, "It was weak I know, and I should of called you. I'm sorry" she gave Dawn her best innocent look.  
  
Spike had been quiet the whole time, but now he chose to talk, "Niblet, Buffy's a big girl, she doesn't need to explain her actions to anyone. Not even you" he said. He was disgusted at the sight of Buffy explaining herself to her kid sister. If she wanted to stay out all night, then no one should be able to stop her.  
  
Dawn glared at him. Spike didn't get it. Dawn liked him, why was she reacting so horribly. He had thought that she at least would be okay with the arrangement. She held her injured arm to her chest.  
  
"Dawn go wait upstairs. I'll be up in a minute and we'll go home. I'll even make you eggs" Buffy tried to appeal to Dawn. She turned around and went up the ladder that led to the top of Spikes crypt.  
  
Buffy put her hands over her face and moaned, "Great, this is just great" she said. "Anyone else, and I could of yelled at them to leave me own and let me make my own mistakes but not Dawn" she said.  
  
"Mistake?" Spike said.  
  
"Yes. A very big mistake" she said. She got up and went over to her clothes and put them on. "I'm keeping your shirt by the way" she said. "Mines not in any shape to be worn. My pants are bad enough." she said.  
  
"Hey, I only have so many shirts" he said. "That one was my favorite".  
  
"Oh come on. You probably have a closet full of black T-shirts. And they all look exactly the same" she said annoyed at him. She left before he could respond.  
  
Spike laid back down in bed. She'll come around He told himself. He was still worried about her though. Her behavior wasn't healthy. And her friends probably weren't helping either, telling her how to live her life.  
  
He closed his eyes and went back to sleep. He could think about it latter.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ezra laid down on the couch. Her head was humming with noise. She could here everyone in the house. She could hear what they were thinking. She could usually shut it out, but she was to tired.  
  
Besides, it was always interesting to hear peoples thoughts. Willow was trying not to think about magic, and Tara, but her thoughts kept going back to them. She was filled with sadness. Ezra wished she could do something to make her feal better, but she didn't think anything she said would be helpful.  
  
Dawn was thinking about Willow, Buffy and Spike. She wanted to forgive Willow, but didn't know if she could. She was mad at Buffy for not telling her about Spike. She would of understood. She was fond of Spike, and felt hurt that Buffy would keep their relationship a secret from her sister.  
  
Ezra laughed at that. If she only knew why Buffy didn't tell. Buffy didn't even think of it as a 'relationship', she thought of it as a sick addiction. She listened to Buffys thoughts. Buffy was thinking of Spike. Big surprise Ezra thought to herself. Buffy was confused. She was upset that he always knew what she was thinking. She was also upset because no mater how hard she tried she couldn't stop thinking about him. She wanted him near her. She wanted him to-  
  
Ezra cut off her link to Buffys mind. Some things she just didn't want to hear. She sat up. Her head ache was going away. She grabbed her coat, well Dawns coat and left the house. She wasn't wanting to spend the evening shut up in a house where thoughts were running so wildly.  
  
She wandered the streets for a while, looking for a demon or something to fight. Her skin was crawling. She needed to work out energy. Her keen slayer senses picked up the sound of foot steps behind her. She turned around and went into a ready to attack position.  
  
It was him again. She hated him, he reminded her of Aaron, the way he moved, the way he talked, every thing. She almost came to tears at the thought of Aaron. Since she thought of any of her people.  
  
She shook her head. She didn't want to think about them. "Following me?" she asked glaring at him.  
  
"Right" he said, "Like I have nothing better to do then follow a 15 year old girl" he glared right back at her.  
  
Ezra suddenly bent over in pain. She clutched her head. The thoughts of people all around her started flowing through her mind. She felt as though they were all ramming into one part of her brain. It was like a knife stabbing her head over and over again. The pain was unbearable.  
  
Spike gently put his hands one her shoulders. "Ezra, are you okay?" he asked.  
  
She tried to respond, but only meaningless words came out. She fell forwards against him. She tried shaking her head to make it stop, as she had done earlier. Nothing was working.  
  
At last she resorted to her last option. She had been blocking him for so long now, but she new that if She called upon his mind he could help her. She reached out with her mind, looking for the familiar feal of him, and called 'Aaron' .  
  
Her mind was immediately connected to his and her pain began to go away. She regained her footing and stepped back from Spike, who had been supporting her. Though her pain was relived, her anxiety grew. She had let Aaron back in, which meant he would find her in a matter of hours. She knew he was in sunny dale, she had felt his presence there for days now.  
  
Hiding from her past would no longer be easy. She would have to tell them. They would cast her out, as her people had. She would be forced to go into darkness with Aaron, and her life would never be safe again.  
  
Already she felt his presence grow nearer. 'no' she cried out to him.  
  
'You cant hide from them the truth' his voice said in her mind. The moment she heard it she wanted him to be with her. She wanted him to take her in his arms and make the pain stop. 'and you cant hid from me for long' his voice said. She could almost see the cocky grin on his face.  
  
She looked up at Spike, who was looking down at her worried. "Take me back to Buffy's" she demanded. He nodded, and began to help her along on the side walk. Her strength was low at the moment and she knew that she wouldn't be able to make it to Buffys by herself.  
  
end of chapter 2. 


	3. A light in the Dark

A/N- Okay, this chapter is kind of short, but I was in a hurry to get it up. I often get comments on Spelling errors and typos, so I read through this one carefully, and Spell checked it. But, I don't currently Have anyone who's a Buffy fan, and a good reader to edit it for me, so you'll just have to deal. If it bothers you all that much e-mail me and I'll send it to you to edit  
  
Chapter 3.... A light in the dark.  
  
Buffy laid in a field of grass. Faith came and sat next to her. "You can't keep coming back here B" she said to her.  
  
Buffy nodded, "Well, I'm here now, no sense leaving right away" she said to Faith. Faith nodded and looked off into the distance.  
  
Buffy followed her Gaze. She found herself looking at Ezra. She wasn't alone though. She was with a boy who looked slightly older then her. He reminded her of Spike, though he looked nothing like him. If Spike was night, this boy was day. He had golden hair that fell below his shoulders. It was braided like an elf's.  
  
His Eyes were a deep bright blue. He was tall, and thin yet muscular. His face was quite fair. His nose was round, and his lips were full. His face was near flawless. His skin was light, and he appeared to glow. She looked at Ezra, who also appeared to glow.  
  
Ezra was sitting below the male. He had his hand on her shoulder in a protective way. She glared at him for it. He smiled down at her, and her glare quickly turned into a Smile for him. He gave her a hand up and they walked off.  
  
Now Buffy new why he reminded her of Spike. He walked, and moved like Spike. He treated Ezra how Spike treated her, except nicer maybe. Buffy looked back at Faith. "Who is that" she asked her.  
  
Faith looked at Buffy, then up at the sky "Looks like rain" she said.  
  
Buffy looked up at the, the sun was shining brightly and there wasn't a cloud in the sky, "Why must you always talk in riddles?" she asked Faith.  
  
"It's your dream" Faith responded with a shrug of her shoulders.  
  
"Buffy" she heard Spike calling from afar.  
  
"You better go" Faith said. "Sounds like trouble".  
  
Buffy felt his hands shaking her gently. She closed her eyes then opened them again. She found herself lying on her bed, and looking apon the face of Spike. She quickly sat up, "What?" she asked.  
  
"Ezras got a problem" he said.  
  
"What? Where is she?" Buffy asked confused.  
  
"She's down stars. I ran into her and she just started freaking out. Clutching her head, saying he found her" he told her.  
  
Buffy was confused. Very very confused. "Who found her?" she asked.  
  
"Don't know, she wouldn't tell me, but I think she was waiting to tell you." he said. He reached out and put his hand over hers Looking deeply into her eyes. Then he stood up and left the room, "Comon" he called back to her.  
  
Buffy got out of bed and went down stairs. Ezra was sitting on the couch looking extremely uncomfortable. "What's up?" Buffy asked.  
  
Ezra wouldn't look at her. "I haven't been completely honest with you" she said sadly.  
  
"What?" Buffy asked confused.  
  
"Well, I mean, where I come from, my past. I haven't really been telling the truth about everything" Ezra explained.  
  
Spike remained silent, however Buffy didn't, "Past?" she questioned, "your fifteen, what kind of past could you possibly have" she looked at Ezra. The girl was so small. Her eye's glinted with innocence.  
  
Buffy realized she was serious. She walked over to the couch and sat next to her. "Sorry, I'm just kind of surprised now, tell me about your past" she said.  
  
Ezra looked up at Buffy. Buffy noticed that those eyes that were so full of innocence were also full of knowledge and pain. Ezra brushed her red hair out of her eyes. "I'm not like you" she said slowly, "My people, they're different. Their beliefs, their traditions, and abilities. We do things different" she explained.  
  
"What do you mean 'your people', how are you different?" Buffy asked more confused then ever.  
  
"Well, we can communicate, um... through our minds. We can read other peoples minds" she said.  
  
"You've been reading our minds?" Buffy asked angry. She was horrified at the thought that Ezra could hear every thought she had. Every thought about Spike.  
  
Ezra shook her head "Not on purpose" she said, "But sometimes I can't control it. Like when I'm really tired or something." She said. "But that's not all" she said, "My people, we are binded to another at birth" she stopped. There was a knock at the door.  
  
"Just a minute" Buffy said getting up to answer the door. She walked over to the door and opened it. She stumbled back in surprise. There was a boy at the door who looked exactly like the boy in her dream.  
  
The boy walked inside without paying an attention to Buffy. He went straight to Ezra, who refused to look up at him. "Linie" he said to her, "are you okay?" she simply nodded. "You know, when you cut me off, your not the only one who feels pain" he scolded her. She simply nodded again.  
  
Buffy came into the living room, "Okay, who are you" she said in a slightly raised voice, "And WHAT is going on?" she asked.  
  
Ezra looked up, "Well, as I was saying, we are binded to one other. I was binded to Aaron" she pointed at the tall elf like boy. "It's possible to sever the link" she said, "But it comes with great pain to both people, and since we are eternally bound to each other, it's still possible to track them down. Just more difficult" she explained.  
  
Buffy shook her head trying to clear it and understand what was going on. Ezra continued talking, "When I was chosen, my people outcasted me, for I was different. Aaron, being bound to me was outcasted with me" she said.  
  
Buffy looked over at Aaron. He was standing over Ezra. A look of great sorrow came upon his face as Ezra talked. "When you're outcasted from my people, your supposed to hide. Go into shadow" Ezra went on. "I didn't want that, not for me, not for Aaron. I love people, and I love the sun, so I ran from Aaron and cut off our link" she stopped, her story was apparently over.  
  
Buffy looked over at Spike, who seemed to be absorbing the information much better then she was. Aaron sat next to Ezra. Ezra scooted away. He put his hand on her hand. She pulled her hand away. It was very clear that Ezra was not happy about being bound to Aaron.  
  
Yet, Aaron apparently didn't see this, or if he didn't he didn't care. He put his hand on her hand again, and this time she reluctantly allowed him to do this.  
  
"Your people, they just outcasted you?" Buffy finally asked, "That makes no sense at all" she said.  
  
"Our people have their own traditions, and they fear above all else change" Aaron said. "They believed that we would corrupt the town, don't judge my people, they simply feared us" he said.  
  
Buffy shook her head and pulled Spike out of the room to talk to him. "What do you think?" she asked him.  
  
"I've heard of it before" Spike said, "I thought these people were a myth. They're called Hydrics and are said to live in the forests. The myth is that they live like elf's and can communicate with all animals etc. I never believed the stories" he said.  
  
Buffy wrapped her arms around herself, she was wearing a tank top and it was cold in the house. Spike reached out and ran his hands down her arms, stretching them out in front of her. She shivered at his cold touch.  
  
He examined her arms, noting that there didn't appear to be any new marks. Buffy realized what he was doing and pulled her arms away. She took a step towards him and put a hand on his waist. "I stopped" she said.  
  
Spike nodded and put a hand on her face. He leaned towards her and kissed her. It was a soft gentle kiss. His kiss reminded her of the first kiss she had shared with Angel. It had been soft and tender. They both had known that they shouldn't be doing it. Yet, there had been this fire that couldn't be put out. A need for each other. Buffy felt the same way now, with Spike.  
  
He pulled back and stared at her. She stared up at his bright blue eyes. He was dead but his eyes were so full of life. Like the stars, Buffy thought herself. The stars, she remembered were dead by the time the light got to earth, yet we can see them. Buffy laughed at the sentiment behind her thoughts.  
  
"What?" Spiked asked.  
  
"Nothing" she said and went back to the living room. Spike followed her.  
  
"Okay" she said to Aaron and Ezra" First of all, no one is 'going in to shadow'. Aaron, you can stay with Spike well Ezra remains under my care" Buffy directed.  
  
Aaron stood up, "Absolutely not. I stay here" he said.  
  
"Fine" Ezra stood up, "Then I'm staying with Spike" she said. Buffy laughed at this.  
  
Aaron however did not seem to find this amusing. "You'll stay with Spike, and Ezra will stay here. End of story" Buffy said.  
  
After a few minutes Aaron finally agreed. "Great, Spike will take you back to his place" Spike nodded his agreement. "Well, you two get going then. Aaron pulled Ezra up and gave her a hug. She allowed him to, but Buffy saw her roll her eyes.  
  
As they began to leave Buffy pulled Spike back and wrapped her arms around him, needing his comfort for a moment. She gave him a kiss, said good bye, and they left. Buffy shut the door behind them, and turned around to find Ezra staring at her.  
  
"Just friends?" she asked with her eyebrows raised.  
  
"Oh go to bed all ready" Buffy said to her.  
  
"Oh Buffy, I love you soooooo much" Ezra said pretending to be Spike.  
  
Buffy left the room and went upstairs to her own bed. She really could not deal with the mockings of a fifteen year old at the moment. Fifteen. She seemed so young. How could Ezra have all this weight on her shoulders. How could she be betrothed. At fifteen.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End chapter 3 


	4. As I fall asleep again

A/N okay, this chapter is a little wierd, but hopefully you'll all still enjoy it. Please no reviews about how my spelling and gramor are so awfull. I would however love other rieviews. I love feed back, good and bad, unless it's about my Spelling:\ anyways, hope you like this chapter.  
  
Chapter 4.........As I fall asleep again  
  
Spike walked down the road to his crypt. He looked at the boy who was walking with him. He looked upset. Spike thought about saying something, but then decided he didn't really care. When they got to the crypt he threw a blanket on the couch, "You can sleep there" he told Aaron.  
  
Aaron eyed the dusty couch with disgust. Is there no place cleaner?' he asked.  
  
"Nope" Spike said annoyed, "I'm sorry if your dainty self doesn't approve of it, but it's what you got. Just be glad I'm not making you sleep on the floor" He told him.  
  
Aaron was quiet after that and went to bed. Spike however had trouble sleeping. He kept on thinking about Buffy. She was so confusing. One minute she acted as though he was good for a fun time, and the next she acted completely disgusted with him. And then sometimes, sometimes she treated him with....with trust, with love, with tenderness.  
  
Spike sat up and turned his lamp on. He grabbed his book off his small night stand and began to read, but couldn't take in any of the words on the page. She was there in his mind. She was haunting him. He continued trying to read until he finally gave up and put the book down.  
  
He turned the lamp off and laid back down in bed. He tossed and turned until sleep finally took him.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy walked up to her room and laid her bag on the floor by her door. Her room was dark and she couldn't see much of anything, but she felt him there. He came up behind her and put his hands on her bare shoulders, and ran them down her arms.  
  
"Did you miss me luv?" Spike whispered in her ear. He kissed her neck below her ear, and moved slowly down to her shoulders. She turned in his arms, and clutched at his shirt. She tipped her head up and kissed him.  
  
He walked her slowly towards the bed and they gently laid down together. He moved back to kissing her neck. She sighed with content. He moved away from her neck and their lips met once more. He pulled away and looked down at her.  
  
His eyes that usually sparkled with blue, were a deep brown. "I'm back now" he said. His hair darkened to the same color of his eyes, and Buffy watched in horror as Spike turned into Angel. He vamped out and bit into her neck.  
  
She opened her mouth and screamed in pain. She felt the life being drained from her. She tried to push him off of her but couldn't move. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and felt tears trickle down her cheeks. She opened her mouth and screamed again, but nobody came.  
  
She opened her eyes and found herself alone in her room. The sun was shining gently on her face. She was soaked with sweat from her dream. She got out of bed and went to the bathroom. She turned on the water for her shower and took her clothes off and stepped into the shower.  
  
She stood under the running water for a few minutes, letting it wash the sweat from her. She looked at her arms. All the marks were almost healed, though some of them left scars. She felt a deep pain in her heart as she looked down at what she had done to her body. The pain grew as she remembered her dream.  
  
'did you miss me luv?" he had asked her. She did. She had felt so safe in his arms, until he turned into Angel. She could still feal the pain in her neck from him biting her. She started to cry. The tears ran down her face mixing with the water.  
  
Her legs began to wobble. She pulled back the shower curtain and stepped out. She began to feal very dizzy. She reached for her robe and put it loosely around her body. She walked out of the bathroom and looked across her hall to her room. Just two doors down, but it seemed so far. Her knees buckled and she fell to the floor.  
  
With a last effort she attempted to pull herself forward, but her arms were weak, and she succeeded only in moving a few inches. She opened her mouth to call out to Willow or Dawn, or Ezra, but they didn't come. She faintly remembered Willow talking about taking them to the Magic shop so she could sleep in. She didn't know what was happening to her. She felt like she was in her dream, having the life drained out of her. Holding her head up became an effort. She felt like the house was spinning. She let her head fall to the ground, and passed out.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Spike ran through Buffys back door, and shut it quickly behind him, and threw off his smoking brown blanket. Aaron was at the magic shop with everyone else, and Spike thought he'd come by to see Buffy.  
  
"Buffy" He called out, no one was answered. When Willow came by and got Aaron, she said that she was giving Buffy the day off. Spike wondered if she had gone somewhere. "Buffy" he called again. Still no answer.  
  
He went upstairs to see if She was still asleep. When he got there he found Buffy collapsed in a small heap on the floor. He ran quickly to her side, and got down on his knees by her side. She was lying face down on the floor, in her white cotton robe. He turned her around and held her in his arms.  
  
"Buffy" he said, he got no response. He leaned his head down on her chest, her heart was beating strongly and he felt the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. "Buffy" he said again, and shook her gently.  
  
She opened her eyes half way, and looked at him. "Spike....?" she said in a dry dazed voice, "Spike, I fell" she closed her eyes again.  
  
Spike lifted her up in his arms and carried her to her room. He placed her gently on the bed. Her robe was opening a little, so Spike began to shut the robe. He noticed a small puncture mark in at the base of her neck where it met her shoulder.  
  
He lifted her up towards him and looked closer at the mark. It looked like she had just gotten a shot, or something. Spike laid her gently back down, and put a small blanket over her. "I'll be right back luv" he said, and leaned down and kissed her forehead.  
  
He ran down stairs and grabbed the phone and quickly dialed the number to the magic shop. "Magic box" The cheery yet tired voice of Willow answered the phone.  
  
"Willow it's Spike, listen something's wrong with Buffy" Spike said into the phone. He began taping his fingers nervously on the counter.  
  
"Spike?" Willow said confused "Something's wrong with Buffy? What? Where are you" She asked him.  
  
"I'm at the house, listen Red, I got here and Buffy was passed out in the hallway. She has a mark on her neck, like a shot or something. Has Buffy been to the doctors lately?" Spike explained what happened.  
  
"Um, not that I know of. Listen, I'll have Anya close the magic shop, we'll be there soon" Willow said.  
  
Spike hung up the phone. A dreadful thought entered his mind. He remembered the marks on Buffys arms. What if Buffy had done this to herself? He shook the thought away. Buffy said she stopped. He had to believe her. He had to trust that she wanted to live.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"And I'm here again" Buffy said as she sat down next to Faith on the ground.  
  
"You got to stop coming here B" Faith said. "I can't rest as long as you return" she said. Then she smiled, "But hey, as long as your here, wait, why are you here?" she asked.  
  
Buffy thought for a moment, "I don't know, I think something happened, I don't really care though" she said.  
  
A pond formed in front of them. From the pond a woman came. She rose slowly out of the water, though she did not appear to be wet. She had long hair as black as a ravens feather falling freely below her waist. Her face was pale with pink lips delicately shaped below a round nose. Her eyes sparkled with green intensity.  
  
She wore a long dress made out of some thin cotton material, it was a dark shade of green. She wore no shoes. She stepped towards them. "Who are you" Faith asked.  
  
At this question was asked, Buffy began to fear the woman. Though she was beautiful, she looked evil. The woman waved her hand and Faith disappeared.  
  
"I have come searching for the one" The woman said. Her voice came out like a song.  
  
Buffy knew exactly who she was looking for. She was looking for Ezra. She stood up "The one. The one you so loosely cast out of your little clan?" she said angry.  
  
"We do not loosely cast out anyone of our people. She is dangerous. She has a beloved treasure of my people. It was given to her at birth. We must have it back, It belongs with us" the woman said. Her voice came out sad now, as if on the brink of tears.  
  
For a moment, Buffy wanted to give her this treasure she spoke of. Why not give it to this kind woman, her people needed it. But then she saw something in the woman's eyes. A glint. A glint that screamed for power.  
  
"You can kiss your treasure good bye" Buffy said, "You let it go when you cast out Ezra" She stared at the woman.  
  
The woman's eyes grew dark, she seemed to grow several inches. Gray clouds blocked out the sun, and lighting and thunder struck. Wind blew the woman's hair back and it whipped out around her face like serpents. Her dress flew out behind her. "Fool!" she shouted, "I was not asking, you give it to me or you die slayer. And your time is ticking"  
  
With that the woman disappeared and the clouds went away. The sun shone brightly on the pond. And Buffy woke up.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End of chapter4 TBC 


	5. If I never wake

Chapter 5......If I never wake  
  
There is a place between reality and fantasy. It is where darkness lays. There is nothing there. No knowledge, no consciousness. Just emptiness. A place between wakefulness and dreams. That was where Buffy was trapped.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ezra looked down at the limp, sleeping form of Buffy. Her long blond hair laid under her hair in delicate waves. Her skin was pale, like a vampires. Her eyelashes looked way to dark against her cheeks.  
  
Ezra looked at the puncture on the base of Buffys neck. There was no doubt about it, the puncture was from some type of needle. Ezra had a feeling she knew who did it. She garbed Buffys hand and raised it to her face. "I'm sorry" she said.  
  
Buffys body gave a sudden jerk, and she sat up in bed. She looked around the room and saw no one but Ezra. She put her hand on Ezras shoulder and looked into her eyes. Ezra tried to pull back but couldn't.  
  
Buffy green eyes had lost there sparkle. Ezra blinked, trying to clear her vision. It looked as though they were surrounded by darkness. They looked blank and evil. Buffys mouth opened to talk "Where is it" she demanded in a voice filled with coldness.  
  
"Buffy?" Ezra asked confused, "what are you talking about?". She again tried to get out of Buffys grasp.  
  
Buffy moved her hand to Ezras hair and pulled her head back. "Where is the charm?!!" she demanded again.  
  
Ezra gasped at the pain of Buffy pulling her hair. She didn't understand what she was talking about. She didn't understand why Buffy was hurting her. "I don't know what your talking about" she said.  
  
"Ezralin Sansari of the Wind clan, I command you, give me the Richara!!!!" Buffy said.  
  
Ezra looked at her. She had just called her by her formal clan name. No one outside of the clan knows it. Not even Buffy. And more she spoke of the Richara which was an ancient stone with power to her people. A stone that Had been given to Ezra at her birth.  
  
Ezra had promised her mother on her death bed that she would always carry the stone. She would not let who ever had possessed Buffy have the stone. "I will die before I see it in the hands on anyone but my decedents" she screamed into Buffys face.  
  
"Then you will die!" The cold voice said. Buffy moved her other hand to Ezras neck and began to strangle her.  
  
Ezras lungs burned for air. Her neck was being crushed by Buffy. She closed her eyes tightly and felt tears burn down the skin of her face. She opened her mouth and tried to choke out the words of protection she had always known. She could just barely whisper them, "hyladue sentivas".  
  
With the power of the stone a whisper was all it took. Light came from the stone that was hanging from Ezras neck and Buffys grasp on Ezras shoulder and neck dropped. Buffy fell back down and her eyes shut.  
  
Ezra fell to the ground and brought her knees to her chest and cried. After a while she heard Aaron's familiar voice calling to her, 'Ezra, what happened? Did you cut me off again? I couldn't feal you' he said.  
  
'No, Alahandra has found us. She wants the stone' Ezra explained to him. She braced herself for Aaron's reaction.  
  
'We have to leave. Pack a bag'. he told her. 'I will be there soon'. With that he left her mind and Ezra was alone again.  
  
Ezra went into the bath room and looked in her mirror. Her face was red and blotchy. Her hair was messed and frizzy and she saw the beginning of bruises on her neck. She rinsed off her faces and combed through her hair. She couldn't worry about the bruises on her neck however.  
  
She went into Dawns room, put on her old skirt and top and grabbed her old bag, which still carried her few possessions. She put her hands on the stone around her neck, and prayed for forgiveness from the goddess. she again found herself crying as she looked around Dawns room. The room was beginning to feal like home.  
  
Home, she laughed at herself. Her home was in the woods where the birds never stopped singing. Where the rain always fell in warm drops, washing away evil. this was not her home. She would never be home again.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Spike Sat on the couch, Dawn was lying with her head in his lap, and he was slowly stroking her long brown hair. Worry was running through his mind. He looked down at Dawn. Her eyes were closed and she appeared to be asleep.  
  
It had been quite sometime since Ezra had asked to be with Buffy alone. "What is taking her so long" He grumbled under his breath.  
  
"Does it matter if she can figure out what's wrong with Buffy?" Dawn asked.  
  
Spike jumped a little. He had thought Dawn was asleep. "No I guess it doesn't" He said. He leaned his head back down against the back of the couch. he was tired. He felt old. His heart had sunk, no one knew what was wrong with Buffy. He didn't know how to help her. He had watched her die once, he wouldn't do it again.  
  
Ezra, though, she seemed to know more then she was saying. She agreed that Buffy had been injected with something. Spike was pretty sure she knew what it was. But who had done it? Who was able to sneak past everyone in the house, and get past the slayer senses, and inject her in her sleep with out waking her up? He didn't know. But Ezra did.  
  
Dawn sat up. Her hair fell past her face in delicate waves. Just like Buffys, he thought to himself. But they were so different. He needed them both though. Buffy and Dawn had become vital to his survival. Buffy was his heart, his soul. they were the same. He loved him more them any man could ever love a woman.  
  
And Dawn. His niblet. She had become like his own sister. He remembered living before he was a vampire. He had had a sister much like Dawn. she had always let her hair fall loosely. Spike remembered how she used to dance. She would dance everywhere. In the fields, in the woods, inside, it never mattered to her. She used to spin in circles on a field that they used to always go to.  
  
Spike shook his head and came back to reality. That was the first time he had thought about his sister for over one hundred years. Dawn was his sister now. She was one of the reasons he fought evil. Dawn and Buffy. "Something wrong pigeon?" he asked her.  
  
She motioned her head over to where Ezra was standing. "Can you help her?" Dawn asked.  
  
Ezra nodded. Spike looked at her. her eyes were red and swollen, and her was fairly sure he saw bruises on her neck. "I'm leaving" She said. at that moment Aaron came in through the front door.  
  
"Your leaving?" Dawn asked, "No, don't go, stay here with me and Buffy" She e said.  
  
Ezra shook her head. she walked over to Aaron and stood behind him. Aaron spoke for her "We have no choice, we must go" He told them.  
  
"No" Spike stood up, "You do have a choice. You can stay. The watchers council sent Ezra here, and here she will stay until they send for her again" he said.  
  
"Do you want you friend to die?" Aaron yelled at Spike. Spike steeped back as if he had been struck. "As long as Ezra is here, she will be in danger." Aaron said in a calmer voice.  
  
Dawn looked at Spike for answers, but he had none. Spike looked at Aaron, "I'm going to ask you something, and you ARE going to answer" Spike said to him, "What is wrong with Buffy?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy floated around in the darkness. She was alone. She felt naked and bared to the world. She opened her eyes but it only let the darkness in. She drank it in. She felt in seep through her pores, it was consuming her. She felt empty.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So" Spike said taking a deep breath, "What your saying is that this little evil Hydrid gal, Alahandra, has injected Buffy with some ancient poison only known to your people" Ezra and Aaron nodded so Spike continued. "And this poison has emptied her self from her body so that the said women can posses her. She wont leave until you give her the stone, which has 'power beyond any of our understanding'" Spike put his fingers up in air quotes at this last part, "and if she stays to long, then Buffy will loose herself, and die.  
  
"Now, If Alahandra gets the Stone, then she would use it to destroy the world, of some such fun. But, if you leave, and run from her, then she will leave Buffys body, and Buffy will be okay" he finished.  
  
"And that's the way we became the running bunch" Aaron said. "Now, if you could excuse us, we've got a bus, then a train, then a plane, then another bus, to catch" he walked towards the door.  
  
"Wait" Dawn said and ran to Ezra, "there has got to be another way. You cant just leave" she said.  
  
Ezra looked up at Dawn, "Dawn, there is no other way. Buffy has twenty-four hours tops. Maybe if we had her we could do something, But we don't have her. And if I don't leave, you'll never have her again" She said.  
  
Dawn threw her arms around Ezra in a hug "You write to me or I'll kill you" she said. Dawn and Ezra had become good friends over the short time they knew each other. "And as soon as you find a way to beet Her, you come back and we'll do it all together" she said.  
  
Ezra stood back and nodded, "I'll see ya soon" she promised, "Bye Spike, Bye Dawn, and Please, say good-bye to Buffy for me" She turned and walked over to Aaron who was waiting by the door. He grabbed her hand and they left.  
  
Dawn stood looking at the door. Spike stood looking at Dawn. "They're gone? just like that? Bye bye, we'll never see you again?" Dawn said after a long pause. Dawn started to cry, "Why does it have to be like this? Why does it always have to be like this? Why does it always come down to us choosing between Two different horrible choices?" She asked him. "Why cant we ever have a good choice?" tears were running down her face in streams, She walked over to Spike, "Why?"  
  
Spike shook his head. He had know answer for her. He was wondering the same thing himself. "We'll see them again" he told her. She looked u at him with doubt. Spike didn't know what else to say.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	6. Wide awake again

A/N-Okay, sory it took me so long, but I do have a life so I haven't exactly had alot of time to spend on this. Anyways, hope you enjoy his next chapter, there shoud be another one up in not to long.  
  
  
  
Chapter 6.............Wide awake again  
  
"Buffy?" Spike said softly. He held one of Buffys hands between his, softly stroking her cold palm, "Buffy?" he said again. He got no response. Ezra and Aaron had been gone for quite some time, but Buffy remained unconscious.  
  
Xander walked over from where he was standing by Buffy's door. "She's not waking up, this isn't working" he said. He still couldn't get past the thought of Buffy and Spike as an 'item'. He put one hand on her forehead, "Buffy" he said. "Can you hear me Buffy?" She moved slightly. Just enough for him to feal it. "She moved' he said.  
  
Willow and Dawn came over at this point, looking over her, "Buffy" they said at the same time.  
  
Buffy moved more this time. She turned her head so that she was facing Spike. Her eyes opened a crack. "Spike?" she asked, her voice was raspy and her lips were chapped  
  
"Water" she said and started coughing. Anya who had been keeping her distance before now, rushed down to get her a glass of water.  
  
Xander looked down at the slayer with brother like affection. The worry that had struck his heart when thought that they might loose Buffy again was unbearable. But she was awake now, kindof, and she was breathing well. And she was gazing at Spike. Xander made a mental shudder.  
  
He looked over at Dawn. She was standing next to Spike, who was siting on the edge of Buffys bed. She had a hand on his shoulder. Xander looked at the three of them. They looked peaceful. Right. Like they all belonged right here, right now. He would never fully approve of Buffy loving Spike, but he couldn't begrudge them this.  
  
Anya returned with a glass of water, and gave it to Spike, who helped Buffy drink it. Anya came and stood by Xander, putting an arm around his waist. Xander put his arm around the shoulder of his fiancÃ©. He looked down at her and kissed her forehead. He couldn't be mad at Buffy for wanting peace. He had the peace. He was lucky and he knew it.  
  
Buffy drank about half the glass of water, and the laid back down. She closed her eyes and drifted back into the safe and peaceful land of dreams. Spike kissed her forehead, then he stood. He put his arm around Dawn and led her out of the room, "Let's all let the slayer sleep" he said. They all followed them out.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy lay with her hair spread out around her. The green grass was a soft bed to her, It comforted her, soothed her. She watched the clouds float over her head, in shapes that looked like flowers and bunnies and other such fluffy things. Buffy loved this place. There was no need to worry about the other dark matters in her life.  
  
"I'm leaving B" Faith said leaning over Buffy. Buffy sat up and looked at her. "And sorry, but I'm not coming back. They wont let me. He says its my time, whatever the hell that means."  
  
"You cant leave. Your not going to leave me, not really are you?" Buffy said looking at her. She knew that it wouldn't be so peaceful here without Faith.  
  
"Well, he's sent by the powers, so I've got to" Faith said.  
  
"He?" Buffy asked, "Who's he, and who are the powers?" Buffy felt confused.  
  
"Oh yeah" Faith said, "forgot your not all dead smart, Well the powers, you know the powers, they're all mystical and all. And, well, you'll meet him soon. You'll probably wish you hadn't, but you will" Faith looked at Buffy.  
  
Buffy reached over and hugged faith. "Good-bye sister" she said.  
  
"Catch ya latter B" Faith said, she pulled out of the hug and winked at Buffy. She turned around and walked away, slowly fading. Buffy laid back down and waited for herself to wake from her dreams. She felt the peace leaving already.  
  
Buffy awoke and sat up in bed, and thought about what Faith had said. Who was 'He', why was he talking to Faith, and why does he have anything to do with anything. She felt a little better then she had earlier when she woke up, but now she was extremely confused.  
  
She swung her legs around in bed and put her feet on the ground. She slowly and carefully stood up. Her knees were still a bit shaky, but she could move now. She slowly went down stairs.  
  
She turned the corner and looked into the living room. Willow wasn't in there, Buffy assumed she went to bed. Xander and Anya were asleep on the floor, curled up with each other. Spike sat on the couch reading a book, Dawn was asleep, with her head in his lap. He had a hand laid protectively on her shoulder. She didn't see Ezra and Aaron, but they could be sleeping somewhere else.  
  
Buffy walked into the room as quietly as possible, trying not to wake anyone up, "Hi" she said quietly to Spike. Spike looked up at her and smiled. "Where are Aaron and Ezra?" She asked him.  
  
His smile turned into a frown. He carefully, without waking Dawn, stood up and pulled Buffy outside. "Your not gonna like what I have to tell you pet." He said. Buffy looked up at him waiting for him to go on. "They're gone" he said.  
  
Buffy continued to look at him. Her mind could not process what he had just said. "What?" she asked him. Spike told her the entire story, about Ezra and Aaron, the creepy woman, and the stone. Buffy just stared up at him. Her big green eyes blank, her face lacking any emotion.  
  
When he finished, she said nothing, there was just a long silence. They just stood there and stared at each other. Rain started to lightly fall, then it began to poor. Finally Buffy spoke, "No, they can't be gone, we have to go after them" she said.  
  
Spike heard the desperation in her voice, and saw the tears forming in her eyes, but knew that they couldn't go after them. He wanted to, he wanted to tell her that they would, and that everything would be okay, but they couldn't, not yet, and he knew it. He also knew, that when it was time to look for them, it would be almost impossible to find them. They were not normal people.  
  
"Buffy, no! They don't know how to stop this woman, and you can't help them, you can barely walk. We will help them. We will, but not now" He told her.  
  
She looked at him, and for a minute he thought she was going to agree. He thought she just might walk inside and lie down in his arms. But then she shook him off and ran down the stairs of her porch. She slipped on the wet wood and fell down on her face. She didn't get back to her feet. She just sat up and stared out at the night.  
  
Spike went over to her and got on his knees in front of her. The rain quickly soaked them. He put his hands on her face and pushed back her wet hair. She out her hands on his face and looked deeply into his eyes, "I failed Spike. I failed them all" she said. She fell forward into him, letting her arms wrap around her neck, and cried.  
  
Spike wrapped his strong arms around her and rubbed her back. And they sat there, in the rain, and let is soak through them.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	7. Night of comfort

Capter7..................A night of comfort.  
  
Ezra pulled her coat tightly around her small body, and wrapped her arms around her chest. She leet out a sigh and she could see her breath. She hated this. She was cold, and wet. She wanted to go home. To her forests. She missed the tall green trees, and the animals. And her friends. She didn't like it where she was. Here in this cold ally.  
  
Aaron was sitting next to her on the cold pavement. He put his arm around her and pulled her closer to him, and they shared each others warmth. "It's okay linnie, we'll find shelter tomorrow" he told her. She cringed at the use of her old nick name.  
  
"Don't call me that" she said.  
  
"I will always call you that" he said. She smiled at him, and leaned her head on his shoulder. After a while they both fell asleep.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Spike closed the door behind him and Buffy. She handed him a White bath robe, "Here" she said, "You can where this while I dry your clothes" He took the robe from her.  
  
She put her hand on his head and ruffled his hair, brushing some of the water out. "there's towels in the closet at the end of the hall. "I'm gonna take a shower, I'll only be a minute." she left her room and went into the bathroom.  
  
After a moment he heard water running in the bathroom. He went to the end of the hall and grabbed a towel. He pulled off his shirt and started to dry himself off on his way back to Buffys room.  
  
Dawn intercepted him in the hall, "Where's Buffy? is she up? Why are you wet" she poured the questions out at him.  
  
"Buffy's taking a shower. We were wet because we were out side, now, I think you should go to bed now pigeon, want me to tuck you in?" He said to her.  
  
Dawn gave him an incredibly annoyed look. "Spike, I'm fifteen, I don't need to be tucked in anymore" she said to him. Spike replied by putting an arm on her shoulder and pushing her towards her room.  
  
When they got to the door Dawn wrapped her arms around his waist "Thanks Spike" Spike acwardly put his arms around her shoulders. He wasn't used to displaying affection. Dawn didn't seem to notice though. She let go of him and walked over to her bed. She pulled down the blankets and got in, "Send Buffy in when she gets out of the shower will you?" Dawn asked. Spike nodded and shut the door.  
  
He went back to Buffys room and began to dry himself off again. Buffy walked in. She was wearing a pair of pink silk pajama pants, and a matching tank top. She looked at him for a long time, just starring at him.  
  
She walked up to him and put a hand on his bare chest. She leaned into him and kissed his neck. Spike wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeply and passionately on the mouth. She pulled away and looked him in the eyes. Her eyes sparkled with green light, "I love you Buffy" he said to her.  
  
Buffy stared at him, for one horrible moment he thought she was going to pull away push him out of her life again, but she didn't. She opened her mouth to say something "Spike, I can't tell you I love you" she said. Spike flinched at her remark. He thought that she had realized that she loved him, "I don't know if I do" she went on, "But, I think that I could" She told him.  
  
It wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear, but it was a start. He lifted her off the ground and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He kissed her. His kisses were no longer gentle, but full of passion and need. Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and allowed him to lower her to the bed.  
  
He kissed up and down her neck and she let him. For the first time in both of their lives, they both felt they belonged. Like they had finally found home. Buffy felt alive again, Spike felt warm for the first time in over a century. They had both found their family. And they took their comfort in each other. Taking all the other had to give.  
  
The end.  
  
A/N Okay, I know, this ending has like no closure. But, I am having trouble planing on how to write the rest, and I have an idea for another fanfic. Not Buffy sadly, but dark angel. I can promise however, that there will be a sequel. A nice long one. but not until I finish my next story. Well, lovies to you all  
  
-Igraine 


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